"We Are All Nerds Now."

Or so says the London Guardian. I prefer the term "geek" myself, mainly for the reasons spelled out in the article. In fact, I'd argue that the population Xan Brooks is describing falls more under the "geek" category, although he obviously doesn't. In fact, Brooks has written the article like he's Margaret Mead amongst the Samoans, or on Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom". I'm surprised he didn't tag someone in Forbidden Planet and track her migrations.

Also, methinks Brooks is a bit of an alarmist. "They have dictated the mainstream and spirited us all along for the ride. I am reminded of the circus performers' chant at the end of Tod Browning's 1932 classic Freaks: 'One of us. One of us.'" Yes, us geeks have used our superior intelligence and exquisite taste to...hijack cultural discourse! We are normality now, baby! *insert evil laughter here*

Just for the record, most of the folks I know who laugh at the Comic Book Guy are perfectly aware that he personifies the more annoying aspects of the geek, and thus themselves. We do have self-awareness, and some of us even possess a sense of humor.

Thanks for the condescension, Brooks. Remember what the freaks did to the trapeze artist at the end of the Browning film? Gabba gabba THAT, chickenhead.

If You Keep Your Goal in Sight...

Finally, concrete news on the changes being made to Assassins, the not-so-new Sondheim musical making its Broadway debut in March 2004. (By the by, who came up with the bright idea of scheduling the premiere of Assassins for an election year? You know that marquee's not going to be on the RNC photo op list.)

I'm enjoying the idea of three voices within the play - I'm guessing that the Balladeer and the Proprietor will be set up as more direct antagonists, with the Assassins somehow synthesizing the two opposing views in their own crazy ways (as in the final verses of "Another National Anthem," when the Assassins integrate the hope of the Balladeer with the selfish desire of the Proprietor).

And this cast? To die for. Harris, Cantone, Cerveris and Kudisch are all top-notch. Kudos to the Roundabout for doing this right (thus far).

Politicans as Math Problems

For example:

"The first sort of puzzle was made popular by the logician Raymond Smullyan and it concerns, if I may adapt it for my purposes here, a very unusual state, each of whose politicians either always tells the truth or always lies. One of these politicians is standing at a fork in the road and you wish to know which of the two roads leads to the state capital. The politician's public relations person will allow him to answer only one question, however. Not knowing which of the two types of politician he is, you try to phrase your question carefully to determine the correct road to take. What question should you ask him?"

The obvious answer is that I wouldn't get to ask a question, because I'd be beaten to it by Ted Koppel wondering if the politician was concerned about falling poll numbers.

For the actual answer and more problems, check out the article on ABCnews.com.

The Best $130 Tom Cruise Ever Spent

Fantastic article from Wired about Philip K. Dick and the films adapted from his stories.

It almost makes me want to see Paycheck. Almost.

The best news? All of Dick's work will be back in print, courtesy of Vintage Books. (Hint, hint.)

More Non-Union Tours

Check out Dominic Papatola's well-reasoned analysis of non-union tours.

He quotes a member of the League of American Theaters and Producers as believing that "the whole process of producing touring theater has become bloated and producers, presenters and Equity all have a role in crafting solutions." As banal as this statement is, it's absolutely true - until all of the participants sit down at the table and put forth real solutions for this problem, theatergoers will have nothing to look forward to except more picket lines and inflated ticket prices.

Harumph.

I No Longer Wish To Have My MTV

"MTV used to be about ambition. Now it's about hot tubs."

Turner Prize Update

The Turner prize winner has been announced. See, blondes really do have more fun.

Also this weekend, Jake and Dinos Chapman duked it out with Ivan Massow. Massow refers to the artists as "the Brothers Faux-Dim," and the Chapmans call Massow a "small-time petit-cunt." I love the British arts press.

Literary Prize for Bad Sex?

"Her breasts are placards for the endomorphically endowed."

Note that Faber and Faber flew the author from Delhi to receive the prize. I'm hoping the honor will be listed on the back cover.

On Building Expansions for Cultural Institutions

From the New York Observer: While entirely separate, capital and operating budgets are intimately related, and tend to create a vicious cycle: More capital growth means more square feet that have to be heated and lit and staffed, which means an increase in the operating budget, which means a need for more revenue streams, which means glitzier exhibits to draw in the crowds, plus a bigger fund-raising and marketing staff—which, in a time of budget cuts, means less money for research and the scientific staff. As Philippe de Montebello, the director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, has said of the effects of the 1990s building boom on museums in general, "It’s not the glow of health, it’s the flush of fever."

The Secret is Out

Critics really are deciding the future of Broadway.

I knew it! (Just like I knew that all the theaters on 44th and 45th are connected by pneumatic tubes, which is why one never saw Blair Brown exit the stage door at the Royale during Copenhagen. Not that I was looking or anything.)

Short Reviews

Three plays I saw that are worth your money:

1. I Am My Own Wife: If you are a fan of virtuoso acting, run to see Jefferson Mays' performance - he plays over 20 roles in this intriguing play by Doug Wright. The play concerns Wright's investigation of the East German Charlotta von Mahlsdorf, a man who survived both the Nazis and the Communists while dressed as a woman. I can find no words to adequately describe Mays - his performance is a combination of technical brilliance and emotional depth. Kudos also to director Moises Kaufman, who, as the creator of documentary-style The Laramie Project, is uniquely suited to this production. The play itself is also excellent. Charlotta is an inconsistent character, who may have worked as a Stasi spy and may also be a compulsive liar, and Wright doesn't force us to conclusions about her life. The audience is left with a mystery.

2. The Beard of Avon: Charming, if a bit slight, this new play from Amy Freed nearly made me wet my pants laughing. (But then again, I am the sort of person to laugh at things like "Regina Dentata.") In this production, "Will Shakespar" is a neophyte actor whose gift for poetry and low social status make him the perfect "beard" for noble playwrights such as Edward De Vere and Queen Elizabeth. The play is way too long, and Tim Blake Nelson is not entirely convincing as Shakespeare, but Mark Harelik's performance as the cruel, polymorphously perverse De Vere is a real treat.

3. Mabou Mines' Dollhouse: Yes, it's the version of A Doll's House where all the men are played by dwarves. (For the curious, writer and director Lee Breuer explains this choice in the Village Voice here.) Surprisingly, most of the time it works - there's one chilling scene where it appears that Torvald might rape Nora, and the fact that he's at least two feet smaller than her doesn't make him any less threatening. Dollhouse is also way too long, and I'm not entirely sure I understood the "operatic" ending. However, both Mark Povinelli as Torvald and Maude Mitchell as Nora are superb, as is Ricardo Gil as Dr. Rank, whose last scene is tremendously moving: after obliquely announcing his death to Nora, he's picked up by one of the female cast members dressed in a flowing white robe with a skeleton mask. In his dignity and sadness, Rank no longer looks small - instead, he appears to have been embraced by a giant angel. Trust me, it was beautiful.

They Eat Ham and Jam and...Never Mind

Just to keep you informed...

It looks like the Monty Python musical Spamalot will not be going forward, at least not under that name. The producers of the upcoming Camelot revival are protesting the use of the pun.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again - Python folks, consider the legal challenge a sign from God. Y'all need to reconsider this musical. Are there any unexplored depths of Monty Python and the Holy Grail that need to be explored on stage? Will your music hold up for two hours? Will the giant bunny work as a stage effect?

By the by, the Green Midget Cafe isn't in Holy Grail - it's in the TV series. Mr. Papatola clearly isn't as big a geek as me.

Fun Stuff

Two witty articles that made my morning:

1. Steve Martin writes a "What If" involving Pablo Picasso and E!. (I'd love to see Pablo on Celebrities Uncensored - how 'bout you?)

2. Did you know that all of the Democratic candidates for President have at least one book written by or about them? Points for you if you read them all, but for those who don't, this Washington Post article sums up the main themes. I had no idea Kerry was a NASCAR fan.